Software Programmers Panico!!!

As a follow-up to an earlier post titled ‘Quality Confidus’, here goes another one. The theme for this was bubbling in my mind right from the day this lack of confidence for quality came to my notice. But the world is too full with nonsensical stuff to let you think about anything else. So this time round just closed my thought radar and blogged this post first.

So the story goes like this. This whole lack of confidence among the software programmers and managerial “stuff” makes me wonder how really a programmers life is (Are managers really human? Am a bit skeptic about this fact. So let us call them stuff for now). I mean, thanks to this whole Bug-Raga that rings in their ears day round, the time is not far when we may see a conversation sort as follows:

SP2: What the heck? Are you serious?
SP1: Yeah man. I am really worried now. And confused too! Really i don’t know how this happened
SP2: Did you try resolving the issue. I mean try adding some stubs in code dude.
SP1: Did everything buddy. But its still the same. I don’t know what will Emailo say. (Emailo is the manager ’stuff’. I hope it does ring some bells)
SP2: Yeah. You have to work on this crisis. No one else can help and you know that. By the way what were you trying to do?
SP1: See nothing complex of sort. I had to blah blah blah. So what i did was i created a class extending blah and implementing blah with blah method overridden. Then i created a static object for blah blah blah…. (Thats what SP2 interpreted)
SP2: Ya got that. Dude that indeed is not that complex (Thats called Geekology!!!). I know you will resolve this soon. But lemme tell you one thing. You have to come out of this mess soon. Because Emailo will think otherwise that you are not giving your 100% (Though everyone knows thats the truth. I mean if i give work 100%, how will social networking and IM’s pull through).
SP1: I know buddy.
SP2: But i am still baffled yaar. How can your Code run at the first go dude! Thats completely unimaginable!!! I would just say try a bit of “Re-bugging“. My best wishes are with you dude
SP1: Thanks pal. By the way, do you know of any free downloadable “Rebuggers“!!!

PS: Here though SP is supposed to stand for a “Software Programmer”. But i feel there is another signifying expansion explaining condition of this Entity: Shoddy ‘n Pitiable!!!

Thats tagged as: humor programming software

Decoding IM’s !!!

A drowsy Friday afternoon. One sits at his desk, gazing at his clock arms strolling round its face. Just when he is completely down; about to dream his imaginations, a sudden buzz of “Hi” rises at the south-east end of his desktop. A smile props up at his face thinking ‘Thanks buddy for a bit of relief’. And suddenly something happens and he, the savior, is gone with his work done. You sit there stunned, trying to grasp what really stormed out. But plain abortive attempts! Incidents like these have happened with me many times now. Just another similar incident and i thought there is an exigent need to decrypt what the incoming messages really mean. So here i am penning down meanings of just a few abrupt messages which i have been decoding for quite sometime now …

HI (all caps) – “Look here u idiot… am too busy unlike u”
hi - “am bored like hell … and its a command u should talk to me. Anyways everyone knows how much work you do …. lol!!!”
hi … rut or u there- “reply soon u dumb… am in hurry and have some important work for you”
what’s up or kya chal raha hain – “i am least interested in what you reply, but for formality. and even i know your answer is going to be the same … ‘am fine’ “
thankxx – “am done with my work …. don’t expect any more messages after this”
uhhhh – “go to hell”
hhahha – “buddy i have to run … ok ok .. that was good … stop it for haven’s sake now”
hmmmm – “my mind’s empty now boss … have nothing sensible to say.. “
ok ok bye – “thats the last statement from me dude. nothing here after; even if u keep shouting your stomach out”
abe sun %$%^* – usual entry statement by a member of RandomBots

These are just a few messages which i was somehow able to demystify. May be not always do they convey the same meaning as stated. But then it goes for any decoded stuff boss. It’s meaning is not always what it is decoded as. However, there are many others which are enthusiastically popping to get naked. But they just keep fluctuating there meanings even more often than Sachin Tendulkar’s form. I am working part-time to decrypt those. Truly speaking, without really getting paid. Or am I?

Decoding IM’s !!!

A drowsy Friday afternoon. One sits at his desk, gazing at his clock arms strolling round its face. Just when he is completely down; about to dream his imaginations, a sudden buzz of “Hi” rises at the south-east end of his desktop. A smile props up at his face thinking ‘Thanks buddy for a bit of relief’. And suddenly something happens and he, the savior, is gone with his work done. You sit there stunned, trying to grasp what really stormed out. But plain abortive attempts! Incidents like these have happened with me many times now. Just another similar incident and i thought there is an exigent need to decrypt what the incoming messages really mean. So here i am penning down meanings of just a few abrupt messages which i have been decoding for quite sometime now …

HI (all caps) – “Look here u idiot… am too busy unlike u”
hi - “am bored like hell … and its a command u should talk to me. Anyways everyone knows how much work you do …. lol!!!”
hi … rut or u there- “reply soon u dumb… am in hurry and have some important work for you”
what’s up or kya chal raha hain – “i am least interested in what you reply, but for formality. and even i know your answer is going to be the same … ‘am fine’ “
thankxx – “am done with my work …. don’t expect any more messages after this”
uhhhh – “go to hell”
hhahha – “buddy i have to run … ok ok .. that was good … stop it for haven’s sake now”
hmmmm – “my mind’s empty now boss … have nothing sensible to say.. “
ok ok bye – “thats the last statement from me dude. nothing here after; even if u keep shouting your stomach out”
abe sun %$%^* – usual entry statement by a member of RandomBots

These are just a few messages which i was somehow able to demystify. May be not always do they convey the same meaning as stated. But then it goes for any decoded stuff boss. It’s meaning is not always what it is decoded as. However, there are many others which are enthusiastically popping to get naked. But they just keep fluctuating there meanings even more often than Sachin Tendulkar’s form. I am working part-time to decrypt those. Truly speaking, without really getting paid. Or am I?